Oh you’re right – absolutely beside myself with excitement! Well, we have a unique political structure, and we’ll have celebrations to match. There’s going to be an exhibition on Chinese Dinosaurs and Prehistoric Life (I won’t mention any names). Children born in 1997 will be punished with free trips to Disneyland. Under-privileged households will be visited by volunteers bearing special 10th anniversary gift packs. There’s the Harmonious Family Drive. A roving exhibition showcasing the Water Supplies Department’s achievements since 1997.

You’re not making these up?
I wish I had that sort of imagination.

Have you ever thought about running for local political office? If so, what would your campaign slogan be? Your campaign song?
I’m the sort of person who would like political power handed to him on a plate, without having to grovel to voters, kiss babies, debate opponents, etc. So I’m in the right place aren’t I? Slogans? How about A garoupa in every wok? Or I’ll get the job done (after this next San Mig)? As for a song, maybe The East Is Red, But Not As Much As It Used To Be.

Speaking of red, your book cover is bright red. What an endearing tribute to Beijing!
Actually, this tone of red on the book is the one you find on the Hong Kong SAR flag, not the PRC flag. Insects can tell the difference.

Universal suffrage for Hong Kong is probably just around the corner like Beijing promises, right?
It depends what you call universal suffrage. If you think a system in which Beijing decides who can and cannot be a candidate is universal suffrage, then it could be possible in 2012 (but more likely 2017, and actually far more probable in 2022, and, er, so on). If you think universal suffrage means anyone should be allowed to run, you’re in for a longer wait – until the communist party bows out.
Hong Kong cannot have true universal suffrage so long as it is part of a one-party state. But once you come to terms with it, everything else makes sense. Beijing’s interpretations of the Basic Law, all the weird mutterings about “gradual and orderly progress”, the stuff about patriotism. What Beijing is basically saying is, “Why can’t you people get it? It’s not going to happen.” That’s the bottom line – they will choose who runs Hong Kong. Always. We will not have real elections.

We just had an exciting one! Were you biting your nails with anticipation to see the outcome? Who were you betting on?
Donald Tsang versus Alan Leong in a rigged quasi-election – that was about as exciting as they will allow. And actually it was too exciting for Beijing’s liking. Alan Leong wasn’t supposed to get even that far. It was interesting, though. Donald was forced to admit that he is an unimaginative and inflexible administrator with too few acting skills to come across as a leader with flair. I was betting on some very mischievous people casting blank ballots to remind him that he’s surrounded by backstabbers. But they chickened out.

You are a well-known blogger but have managed to remain mostly anonymous so far. How do you plan to maintain that anonymity with such a large-scale book release?
By making it the world’s smallest ever large-scale book release.

You’re clearly a well-connected person in Hong Kong with loads of insight into the local happenings. Can you give us a few hints about your background? Like, where you’re originally from? Or how long you’ve been living in Hong Kong?
Oh, it’s an ugly story. You’re talking about physical and mental abuse at the hands of evil nuns at a convent school. In later years I studied counter-value nuclear targeting strategy very briefly – not really a transferable skill, especially these days. I’ve been living in Hong Kong since a can of San Miguel was 90 cents. A lot of things have come and gone since then. Mint-chocolate flavoured Vitasoy, for example.

Will you be abandoning your post as a blogger to pursue being a full-time author? If so, what might your next book be about?
Whatever makes the most money. (Can you tell I’ve been in Hong Kong a while?)

If you had to pick: pre-handover or post-handover Hong Kong, which one would it be? Why?
It’s more of a continuum than a sudden change. But I can’t help getting all nostalgic about the early days. We used to donate blood because the Red Cross gave you a can of beer afterwards. The place was far less crowded and overdeveloped. Robinson Road was mostly low-rise buildings. It was poorer. There was a street-side methadone dispensary in what is now basically the Mid-Levels. We’re not talking about that long ago – mid-80s, basically. And that mint-choc Vitasoy. Those were the days.

Where will we find you celebrating on July 1st?
I’m booked to do some government publicity thing with those two new panda bears – visiting an old people’s home for dimsum, or something. I’m not sure what time they have to get back to Ocean Park, but with any luck I’ll be able to drag them over to Lan Kwai Fong in the evening, do some karaoke in Hardy’s. See you there!