Jed Thian on Jed Thian

Online sensation comedy show, The Alternative Rugby Commentary gives new meaning to pictures of old rivals for thousands of internet listeners. Star commentator Jed Thian; a former first class Rugby player in New Zealand turned internationally renown Rugby pundit opens up to BC ahead of the game.
I have become an advocate for Valium in the modern era of international travel, not for the relative uncertainty of actually flying but the overt presence of automatic weapons in every airport. I find the soothing vacancy the best approach known to man when faced with the terse lipped, uniformed people, embracing their lethal spouse like a newlywed. I expect a more reasoned welcome in Hong Kong and I am sure that the immediate summation that I am in fact a Rugby player; possibly a former All Black, during the upcoming week will ensure, large, slightly un-kept, red eyed male Polynesians will be celebrated by all and sundry as they emerge at the immigration cue.

My contacts on the ground have quoted me anywhere between $5,000 to $10,000 a day for a good time in Hong Kong and that a general malaise has descended upon the populace due to well reported global economic affairs. Well I’ve always thought that Aussie bashing was one of the most entertaining things you can do with your pants on, so I bring you all the elixir of life in the following statement – ‘what credit crunch?’.

Here in the Islands there’s no time to mourn the departure of intangible items, we’re singing songs of thanks that the spending from Northern Hemisphere Rugby clubs has subsided for a while. The global economic meltdown has played right into the NZRU’s hands; unfortunately we have the Criminality to thank for it, by making the ‘Pounders’ sit on their wallets for an extended liquidity lunch.

I have been asked my opinion about the attitudes of the individual players and teams going into this momentous occasion for Rugby; far be it from me to say but it’s pretty easy to isolate what both teams will draw from the game, eighty minutes of intense pressure using the likely rule set of ELV’s prior to their respective tours to the North. For the individuals there is the possibility of retaining the starting test jersey, but come the first point of hard contact, the dashboard will light up and the dials will turn and the competitive animal will be freed of the chain - they simply can’t help themselves for Rugby players are warriors.

Put bluntly the show in Hong Kong will be an unforgettable experience, I imagine I should pass through the city with barely a whimper, but I am very used to people watching who are capable of forgiving me two very powerful elements as they suspend belief. The first is that they collectively do not find the result means anything more than that the Rugby is now over and secondly possess enough commonsense to know that if you can see the match, why would you need someone to tell you what is happening?

So I’ll skulk to the back of The Canny Man on the night and watch you people of Hong Kong; which could make for the most unforgettable commentary I have ever tried to perform.

Jed will be commentating on the Bledisloe Cup live from The Cannyman (Bsmt 1, 57-73 Lockhart Road, Wanchai, 2861 1935) from 4.30pm on 1 November.

Billion

With a name like Billion Club (3/F, On Hing Building, 1-9 On Hing Terrace, Central, 2973 0918) and a blingin’ gold and diamond logo to boot, Hong Kong’s newest night spot oozes lavishness and luxury. The soft opening, held on October 21, was full of beautiful people, sipping Moet & Chandon, curious to see the former Hei Hei Club’s new look.

The patio area has a new water feature and two large rampant bulls while the new interior layout features three distinct sections and includes two bars, one at each end. It’s a big improvement on the old layout making it both easier to move around the club and also to get a drink. The dance floor is located in the centre - perfect for being seen to be seen and enjoying the scenery. There are ample booths and seating throughout while sparkling disco balls and polished metal toilets round out the bling factor at Billion Club.

If you’re planning on going to Lan Kwai Fong area through November 1, check out the area outside exit D of the MTR station. Lan Kwai Fong, in association with the Hong Kong Tourism Board is promoting Halloween celebrations there from 7 pm till late with entertainers dressed up as spooky monsters and ghosts to add ambience to your evening - no word yet if there will have a face painting booth, or on the access plans for All Hallows Eve..

Zinc (G/F, No 35 D’Aguilar Street, Lan Kwai Fong, 2868 3448) celebrates Halloween on October 31– dress up as a ghoul, witch, ghost or a goblin and you will receive a free shooter as you are entertained by DJ Patrice till the wee hours. Joe Bananas (23 Luard Road, Wan Chai, 2529 1811) is also revving up the festive spirit on October 31 with the theme of ‘Robbers and Cops’ where staff will be dressed to the theme. There will be special Halloween Bacardi cocktails and a prize for the best costume.

Tivo Wine bar (Shop D & E. G/F Yu Yuet Lai Building, 43-55 Wyndham St, Central, 2116 8055) is having a ‘Black Masquerade’ Halloween party on October 31. The dress code is black, with masquerade masks. International DJ Dee Montero will be entertaining the crowds. Get complimentary canapés and Chivas cocktail shooters all night, with no cover charge!

Lending a great view of TST, Cali Cali (2A Hart Avenue, Tsimshatsui, 9199 5188) recently opened its doors on the 2nd floor, right above Roadside Bar. Check out their list of California wine and cocktails. Drop in after 10:30pm and enjoy live music by DJs every Friday and Sunday. Jazz band Rotation plays on Wednesday and Thursday nights, from 10:30pm to 2am.

Enjoy beers, Apfelkorn Schnapps, red and white wine at The Oktoberfest at Marco Polo Hong Kong (6/F, Viewing Platform, Marco Polo Hong Kong Hotel, Harbour City, Tsimshatsui, 2113 3217). On until November 15; the culinary German feast includes various sausages, roast chicken, red cabbage, beef rolls and desserts like apple strudel, cheesecake and pear crumble tart. And there’s plenty of entertainment – the six piece Notenhoblers return with their traditional tunes. Games such as ‘Milking the Cow’ will keep the atmosphere buzzing. Adults can enjoy one beer and one souvenir mug for $99 from Sun-Thursday, $180 on Friday, Saturday and public holiday eves. Carnival time is 6-11 pm (Sunday to Thursday); 6-11.30pm (Friday, Saturday and public holidays).

Another beer festival is running at one+one bar at the Royal Park Hotel (8 Pak Hok Ting Street, Shatin, 2694 3869) until mid November. Don’t miss free flowing Erdinger draught beer at $158 from Sunday to Thursday, for $178 on Friday, Saturday and public holiday eves. German foods like luganeghetta in a ring ($50), and jumbo frankfurter sausages and veal sausage ($50) are also up for grabs.

The Cape Wine (Shop UG59, Tsimshatsui Center, 66 Mody Road, TST East, Kowloon, 2525 3898) recently launched Wild Africa Cream at the promotional price of $128 (750ml) and $168 (1,000ml). The cream liquor is made in the Western Cape winelands of South Africa, where fresh Jersey cream and South African sugar cane is distilled with a hint of caramel – the result is an alternative kind of Bailey’s.

The bottle is in a wrap of sexy leopard skin to enhance the African feel. Get free delivery for six bottles or more, the promotional price only lasts till December 31.