One of the classic conflicts between men and women has always been over whether or not to have children. Since the dawn of time, regardless of your race, creed or social status, men have, in general, shied away from pro-creating for as long as possible. Children are perceived as an anchor of sorts, a weight around the neck, a nail in the coffin. Men are by nature impulsive creatures, and having children seems to be a way of saying stop, of telling a man that he can no longer do what he wants when he feels like it.

Women, on the other hand, can't wait to have kids. It is understandable, their bodies come decked out with all this cool equipment that they are just itching to try out. I get it completely. For my 8th birthday I asked for a BMX and a week before my big day I discovered it hidden at the back of the garage. Those seven days were the longest of my life! Every afternoon when I got home from school I would sneak back in for another look – oh man, it was beautiful. The urge to ride it, to take it over some sweet jumps and try to catch some air, was almost unbearable. So, women, I feel you. I really do. And it must be so incredibly frustrating for women that they need to rely on a man, at least for an awkward, clumsy three minutes or so, before they can realise that dream. Men have the key to the garage, you might say.

There is obviously more to it than that, but women are only too aware that so much of their physical self is designed specifically to grow and nurture a child and more importantly, that it has a use-by date. By the time they're blowing out candles for the 30th time, without the help of a pint-sized offspring, they can be forgiven for starting to get a little antsy. The desire to become a mother can be overwhelming, and in Hong Kong that is as true as anywhere else.

Women here seem to fall into two camps – those who are career-driven and those who are driven towards this desire to reproduce. Before you start waving the charred remains of your under-wire at me, I do of course, recognise and support the notion that women can do both. In fact, I'm all for it. When my time comes I have already conceded that I shall put my career aspirations on hold to raise my children, refusing to let the mother of my heirs be shackled from her vocational ambitions. But men as accommodating as me are hard to come by. Perhaps the current financial apocalypse might produce more stay-at-home dads, but one thinks it will be more of a passing fad than a change in convention.

My point is that for many young women in this fair city, they are not interested in promotion and professional success, but rather a little gold band on their finger and a bun in the oven. That's their set of uprights. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent.

However, almost without exception, every Chinese girl I know has a terrible relationship with her own mother. Many of course still live at home, still being extorted for large percentages of their pay check to fund mum's mah jong night, but even that is seemingly not enough. Chinese mothers are overbearing, intrusive and some of the most selfish people I have encountered. They are controlling and manipulative, acting more like petulant little children than the educating, guiding parents they are supposed to be. Saying that it is a cultural difference is just not going to cut it this time, nor is saying "my mum did it to me so it's my turn now." I haven't heard talk like that since the fifth form were justifying dishing out bog washes at school. It is simply bad parenting. What kind of example are they setting for their own children – the same generation that I am auditioning to be the mother of my own offspring one day? Is my future spawning partner going to turn into one of these beasts of burden one day and start treating my children in the same way - as mere sources of extra income, whom they can guilt-trip and emotionally extort money, love and attention from with little in return but more of the same? And they wonder why we are not in any rush to have kids. Still, I guess it would take the pressure off my wallet for a while.

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