Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom capable of carrying a family film, the fly would be pretty low on the scale. Nothing against the garbage-picking pest, but Jeff Goldblum and David Cronenberg more or less ruined the fly’s run as anthropomorphized amusement. It’s safe to say that not even a perfectly executing Pixar could have salvaged the meandering of Fly Me to the Moon. This CGI effort about Apollo 11 and three young bugs who decided to hitch a rocket ride is so out of joint and jingoistic that you’re not sure whether to stand and salute or simply hold your nose.

An intrepid trio of flies – the corpulent Scooter, brainy IQ and daring daydreamer Nat – has longed to be part of some real-life adventure. Spurred on by Nat’s daredevil grandpa (Christopher Lloyd) who claims to have accompanied Amelia Earhart on her transatlantic flight, they decide to stow away on the upcoming moon mission. When the Russian flies find out there are American insects onboard, they send operative Yegor (Tim Curry) to sabotage the flight. It will be a race between freedom and the forces of evil to ensure the USA places the first men – and pests – on the lunar surface.

While it may seem clichéd to say it, not even 3D technology can save Fly Me to the Moon from being flat and dimensionless. Of course, it’s hard to wrap your proclivities for cuteness around a film that features squirming maggots (complete with comic cooing) as a source of visual humour. The choice of bugs here definitely deserves some criticism, since they are rendered in a manner that reduces them to unrecognizable piles of plumber’s putty - except for the females, who are far too buxom, even for bugs. Granted, this kid flick isn’t looking to satisfy entomologists. But with its pat storyline, lack of excitement and clumsy Cold War subplot, it fails as either science or fun.

Part of the problem is the intended audience. Fly Me to the Moon is not made for cognizant wee ones raised on years of Fox and DreamWorks product: Nary a pop-culture riff nor hip homage is to be found. And unlike similar computer-generated fare, it doesn’t have WALL-E’s visual panache or Kung Fu Panda’s Shaw brothers’ reverence. It’s all set up to sell a simple lesson (NASA and space are coooooool!) and then repeat that message over and over. The real Buzz Aldrin even shows up to make sure we don’t question the competency – or cleanliness – of his trip into the heavens.

It’s all very much a retro trip to a ’60s-era Tomorrowland attraction. The 3D fakes the kind of ‘you are there’ immersion that House of Mouse imagineers still thrive on, and the entire journey is kept safe and antiseptic. The oddball arrival of Soviet saboteurs will have you wondering where Moose and Squirrel are, and the lockstep problem/payoff story structure is like entertainment hypnosis, basically brainwashing you into believing you’re watching an actual film. Sadly, with its one-note characterization (fat fly = hungry) and inability to engage, this celebration of a giant leap for mankind is really just a small, insignificant step for film fans. Bill Gibron